I wish there never had to be good-byes. I've never understood growing apart, life going in different directions. Perhaps that is the loyal streak shining out from deep within me, saying once you have become my friend, you will always be considered a friend. Or maybe it is my naive nature that finds it difficult, maybe even impossible, to eternally seal the pages of a relationship even when great harm has been dealt me. I want to extend the gift of second, third, and fourth chances. This care I have--it is my strength, and it is my weakness.
I do not want to lose my loved ones. I want to relish every moment I can with them here on this human soil, then sing with and embrace them on golden paths. The very notion of there being even the briefest pause between the two moments in time makes me heartsick. I hold hands with the grains of sand in the hourglass as they slip and fall, so eager to see what the future will reveal but ever-mindful that each passing moment for some means a moment closer to our looming separation here on earth. In the recesses of my mind, I am terrified that I will be unable to survive this life without my family pillars.
I wish that life was simple, that we didn't have to squander our moments together worrying or arguing about the pettiest of things. I wish that we could even have those moments together, instead of having to slave away for endless hours at jobs with little, if any, reward.
I wish that we didn't know how to fall out of love, and that we could look at each other and forgive. And forget.
I could've written this, except for not as eloquently.
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as the last 2 paragraphs, I don't think they necessarily have to be that way. Of course there will be some of it, because we are sinful by human nature. But if you're surrounded by people that desire the same thing, have the same values, and are honestly interested, I think it is possible to limit the amount of pettiness and game playing, and to be able to forgive and carry on a decent relationship. Unfortunately, as we both know, the other person has to be willing to work at it too. It is hard to realize it is out of our hands.